There were things that I was praying for the future and actually something really unexpected happened... God didn't answer those prayers, but He changed my mind. He changed my faith in Him and He increased my trust in Him and my joy in the process. It's been really amazing to see gratitude and contentment take up residence in my heart like I have never known. It's a new and deeper kind of satisfaction as if I am living each day like all my greatest and most heartfelt prayers HAVE been answered just like I had asked them... that's what hope is... that's what faith is... and I am JUST now learning all this.
That fact makes me a little sad that it's something I have heard and heard but never resonated in my soul. Now it's there and I have added to it forgiveness.
Forgiveness of myself, my past, my blunders, others' choices and scars left on my heart, and even the things that are to come.
The final thing that God has shaped and molded into me in the past thirty days is a desire to have controlled emotions and thoughts.... all aligning with this one verse.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praise worthy-- think about such things." Phill. 4:8
We are talking a total overhaul of thinking here, this means no negative thought or word... NOT ONE! about yourself or anything or anyone else for that matter. It's simple to grasp, hard to break, and life changing to the core because it challenges every habit we have been implementing since our existence in this world. It completely contradicts the things the world has been telling us all our lives.... and yet isn't that what we know and should be working against?
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but BE TRANSFORMED, by the RENEWING of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
It's kind of hard to talk about all the things I have heard and seen from the Lord. But I will take my time in trying to share it all with you.
Just to give you an idea, here is an expert from a letter I wrote Bry and a few people about this new endeavour with Christ:
It’s begun in me a new movement in just trusting in Him and following after Him with passion and purpose… not wandering aimlessly about the feet of Christ but walking in step with Him and letting him hold my hand. How much we are like little children with Christ… fighting limits and distracted and uncoordinated and yet He patently, lovingly holds out His hand saying, “hang on, I will guide you”… I am tired of tripping ahead, it’s time I take hold of Him
There is so much more to share but that sums it up... some of you were expecting to here news that we have another baby on the way, well we HAVE another baby.
And you know me...I can't post without pics, so here are his first pics
Meet Bear Blowey :) Bry's new BFF!