"Well, what is it! Is it a boy or a girl?" "Uh-Hu!" -It's a Wonderful Life

We had a bit of a surprise for our parents this December.  Brys mom had to work a board meeting so we left this box on her front porch..... her and Tillman opened it later and I am sure got the same surprise my parents were about to get. 

Kehnley and Sadie were in the dark as well when we walked in with this bad boy...

this is what happened next!

   


                 
   

We all enjoyed some pink cupcakes and were excited about the new baby girl that will soon be in our arms!  It was so sureal to see her on the sonogram and hear those words we have been waiting to hear, it's a.....

GIRL! :) 

 I was shocked out of my mind but Bry had already been calling her by her name all week.  I thought he was just being crazy, but that's 3 for 3 on his record of guessing ahead of time.  Maybe next time I won't even get a sonogram done, I will just ask him :)

He pictures on the sonogram looked so much like Kehnley, but some have told me sadie...

what do you think?

 

Kehnley

Lainey

Here is the Advent list I made for my family this year... (its very vague just helps me rem what fun things were doing each day)
December Advent Calendar 2011
Get Christmas tree & drink coco

Make Special thank u card for teachers

Decorate the tree and House for Jesus' Birthday

Santa's Wonderland at Bass Pro

Put our manger together and make a tent like it

Christmas Carols sing along with instruments

Make name tags for gifts out of Christmas symbols

Make a Gingerbread house at Fancy's

Gather toys for kids in need this Christmas

Watch Frosty & make snowman & Funfetti w Granny

Christmas Scavenger hunt with red & green picnic

Mail out & write Christmas cards (pray for families)

Drink hot Coco and cuddle on the couch get out old photos!

Wrap our presents for everyone

Ride the train at the mall

Shrinky-Dink Ornaments

Baking day!
Church concert

Christmas Santa's Wonderland in College Station
Start 7 day countdown "what to give Jesus for Christmas"
Put on Bethlehem Play-video
Ice skating and Lego land AM
Fill a stocking and leave it on a neighbors door
Decorate cookies for Santa , make reindeer food!
CHRISTMAS EVE
Christmas service, Letter to Jesus
CHRISTMAS DAY
Look for the crown in the tree and give it to Jesus 26

NEW YEAR’S EVE
Put promises for 2012 in stockings for next year!




one thing that I am happy about is that i actually typed up a list and put it in a calendar and actually attempted to be fully ready for advent. (even if things like the Christmas performance at K's school left us scrambling today and we didnt get to do all we hoped-at least the first lesson is about forgiveness right?  lets try again tomorrow)

One thing that is really hard and heavy on my heart is a desire to do an Advent ornament and also do all the other family things that we look forward to..so the question is, how do I do both- i incorporate scripture and bible lessons with our advent but I wanted to do something different this year, how do I plan all l this in the midst of the crazy things that just HAPPEN to be falling in my lap this month as well?....

Let me interject that I KNOW there is no way its a coincidence that some of these pressing things have come up this week...the enemy is trying to steal my joy, make me feel like a failure, and keep me from doing what I know God has pressed on my heart.   never mind the fact that me and bry have been so exhausted and busy and getting sick we havent gone to sleep at the same time all week, I've been sad (for no apparent reason really) in the midst of a time that is usually my favorite, I feel so pressed by the end of the day my mind literally just aches-its just empty and hurts to try to recover anything, noise from anyone especially loud little girls who are making some version, different each time mind you, of the most annoying sounds ever made from Dumb and Dumber ( i swear they must have seen the clip or something how could they know how to make these noises so well) are piercing my already splitting head.

So WHAT in the world does this have to do with Advent you ask?  Well, I think it's just the simple fact that as much as I wanted to write how wonderful the week has started and how great everything is and how awesome I feel and how the girls are sitting politely waiting to hear about the spectacular reason for the season...that's not really how its actually looked.  Its looked more like a train wreck and I am just sort of coming out of the ashes here....

One thing I love so much about the Lord is that in a few minutes I will close my eyes, go to sleep and get a chance to do it better tomorrow, to start over tomorrow, to forgive myself and others, to seek His will for the day, and to make right whats trying to go all wrong. 

So even though today is Dec 1st....it's really all going to look like it should tomorrow.  (wow, i actually will sleep before 2 am, its looking better already!)

I've attached some of the fun things that we are doing for our advent calendar...tomorrow I will attach the evening lessons I am hoping to get from a friend.

A pebble and a sling

This morning I was hit with a pretty amazing truth through the words of David Welch, speaking on one of Kehnley's favorite stories "David and Goliath"  its easy to get lost in the analogy of this story with "facing the giants" if you will, in our own life.  But never so plainly did God use this story to remind me that I am a very small, weak, underwhelming runt in need of miraculous power through faith in a BIG God  to overcome some obstacles.  I never thought about little David running at this Giant Goliath with such force and determination grabbing his river stones, filling his sling...fearless: in the face of insults, in the face of doubt from those who should have encouraged him, in the face of all natural law, in the face of his past and possibly his future.  All the the name of "the Lord of Hosts"  the God who commands an army of angels.  The God who raises the dead.  The God who uses our little tools, to do great things. 

I don't know if my purpose is great, but I know God has one for me.  I know it might sound small, the life that I lead, to the vast majority.  I know that there are days I don't have the "joy, joy joy joy down in my heart"... because all I can do is wait for the sun to go down so I can start over.  I know there are conversations and things I wish I could take back, on a regular basis.  I know there are people that need far more than I so richly have, but often don't acknowledge.  I know I could do better, if I could just step outside of my self for just a moment, and rely on the God of Old, the God of Now... the God who is one day coming. 

"For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward everyone according to what they have done. " 
Matthew 16:27

Like most revelations I am still not sure what to do with my new found perspective, but I am seeking Him out, on how I move ahead--running with my pebble and a sling-- about to knock down some challenges!  I am thankful for the faithful followers of Christ who show me that ordinary people can do great things when they use what tools they have been given, whether small and seaming insignificant, to do the tasks God has specifically planned for them.  They aren't all found in the pages of my bible either...some are friends who live 1 block, or 8 to 41/2 hrs away.  thankful for the many examples I get to share life with!!

My current giants:
1. keeping a positive attitude through the tough stages of pregnancy
2. remembering my purpose is important in training these children, even though it feels mundane at times
3. keeping a joyful spirit in the midst of struggles
4. relying on God to answer all my tough questions
5.spending my time wisely to do the tasks God has given me
6. sharpening my tools to use for His purposes (first i need to fig out what they are!)
7. ignoring the opposition i might face from those around me at times ( sometimes not even words, just situations that can distract)
8.my self- forgiveness and grace
9. diligence in breaking life long habits (most of them are in the mind)
10. hearing and not doing

....Here we go!....

Easy as 1-2-3

Sent these in the mail last week and have been DIEING to tell everyone, but thought it would be a fun announcement.... i have been anxious to talk to so many! So glad to hear so many friends an family celebrate with us over this new addition!
A few questions answered:
1. first Dr. visit? sept 13th
2. due date?? maybe end of April
3. Are you excited?  of course!  But not as much as Kehnley is! :) she almost ruined the secret
a few times lol
4.  Do you have names picked out?  Yes, and they aren't what they have been in the past
and we'll spill the beans when a reveal party comes
5. How do you feel?  EXHAUSTED! but blessed (specially by the girls napping
all afternoon....I feel like the luckiest mom on the planet all the time but especially
from 12:30-3:00)

"How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me?" Psalm 116:12

This is the day

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24

Joy is a choice.  I heard this today and it was revolutionary to me.  We can have the pain of discipline OR the pain of regret... which one is more beneficial?

"train yourself to be godly.  For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come"  1 Timothy 4:8

If you know me you know that I exercise every morning way before the sun sums up, but what you may not know is that I also hide away in the dark of morning to be alone with Jesus before my "little people" come looking for me.  I need time with Him so that I can do battle with anything that might come along in my day to try and steal my joy.  I train myself for godliness.  I discipline my heart and my mind in order that I might be stronger in the Lord.  Just like exercise does things for the mind and body, so does spiritual exercise and even more for the heart and the soul. 

Joy is a choice.  I can choose to be joyful in life's circumstances, in my troubles, in my doubts, in my needs, in my unknowns, in my waiting, in my hurts, in my blessings, in my missed opportunities, in my lessons, in my prayers, in my mundane chores and tasks. 

There are many things that may seem painful for a time but reap benefits far beyond our wildest dreams.  Joy is a choice.  Joy is a discipline.  Joy is not always easy.  Joy is beneficial.  Joy is ours to have, something ONLY God can give.  (John 15:11 " I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.")

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

What ever day God has made will you choose joy?

Like no other

I am seeing first hand the truth in all the parenting and mentoring books out there that teach us there is just something about the relationship between a girl and her daddy...

They may depend on mama all day, but there is just something about daddy! This weekend we had a girls weekend in San Antonio for Megan's shower and it was time away from our kids, husbands,  and fiancees: it was a time of really fun catching up, bonding, laughing, eating, Jillian Micheals working out all in the living room (6 girls, one tv, one moved couch, and a pregnant belly) air mattress room camp out...I certainly am regretful I didnt take a pic of our camp out room!  But the weekend did much more than refresh my spirit, it gave my husband a time with his children that he rarely gets.  I would be bold enough to say its something that he AND the girls needed desperately.  Only they will know all that went on that weekend.  One thing happened for sure, Bry was spoken to by God and I hope that He will get the change to share what that encounter did for Him.

Getting back in town and hearing about what happened to him this weekend made me very aware of a deep need that I have either been blind to or just ignoring.  I pray FAR MORE for other people than I do for my husband, I cry ut to God and my heart breaks for my friends, my family, those who are sick, struggling, afraid, in need... all the while I think he's fine, great, spiritually sound and able!  (if you know him at all you would assume the man hadn't a need or want for anything and he's the most together person you'd ever meet)  God convicted me greatly of my neglect to be praying, not for our marriage, my husband, the girls daddy, but just Bryson, just him alone-- the person that God made apart from all the titles he holds.  So here in lies the challenge, to not think of ourselves or our need, our our marriage, or our home, or our kids, but our husbands and how we might spur them on toward love and good deeds.  Heb 10:24
Thankfully I have a friend who walks us through it--this is the challenge I am starting today!
Operation TYMJ-Take Your Man to Jesus


Speaking of feeding the spirit lets talk feeding the belly too! I just happen to be married to a chocoholic and decided I need to get this book ALSO about Father's and Daughters by Gweneth My Father's Daughter because it has healthy versions of foods like THIS----it: looks like I need to add it to my bday list :)

4:8 Mission

Of course this has to follow up a post titled "Boot Scoot and Poopy"...oh the irony! lol
So here's the deal...

I don't want to blog anymore about meaningless things, not that my children and our little life is meaningless, quite the opposite, if you know me you know they are our treasure, our world, our mission field, they are my 24/7 and I take my role in their life more seriously that almost anything else....but remember this....?


"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Phil 4:8

I can't help but desire to filter whatever I spend my time on through this...not just my mind, or my words, but my very essence I want to be characterized by this charge.

So begins the transformation of information. Let's get REAL there are tons of websites, blogs, podcasts and the like about parenting and fun stories and life--and yet there are still those of us staring in the face of the hundredth question from our toddler like "why can't we see God?" going... I wish i could get a a panel of ppl together to talk about this lol.  Most moms in the toddler trenches don't have time to look up a blog, read a book, and google search "explaining the infinite holiness of the creator God to a 3 yr old" goodness- we are lucky to just have everyone dressed all day!

My new form of organization of task and thought (there are many being developed in me as God's way of helping me to resist the born urge I have to live on the fly--free as a bird--letting things happen as they come)--can you guess that I like change and spontaneity?  oh yeah, what was I saying?-OH so yes new forms of organization :) causing me to spend my free time not watching DWTS or Gray's or (fill in the blank) Crashers but instead on planning lessons, gathering resources; for projects, exploration, and enjoyment in teaching my little ppl all about God and how He made them special, especially for a purpose...like most things we think we are doing for the Lord to bless others, it changes us into someone new along the way! 

If you have read the 4:8 Principle (an amazing book on the positive side of thinking & living life) based on the scripture above you would know there is this one part....THE part that I am making my mission, where the author tells his children every night before bed until one amazing night they repeat it back to him almost in a sleepy unison...

"you are a wonderful, beautiful, child of God"

That is my mission, that the little ones of the next generation know this truth without a shadow of a doubt. 

Keep looking for lessons, resources, and (lets be honest) crazy mishaps along the way! (not to mention frequent dance party breaks--every mom needs to work those into the schedule, just to keep her composure--just do it, you'll thank me later!) and please keep in mind my failures: you'll find those here too, because I find that when I crash and burn it, God shows Himself more trustworthy than if I had juggled all the things He throws at me with the greatest of ease.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

What keeps me passionate about the new ministry God's given me?

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

2 Corinthians 4:7

We need you...this is for a dear friend who reminds me of this often, thank you!

How many names
Can I use to explain
The love of my Jesus
The life that He gave
And so many times
Will I praise You today
I lift up my life
Cause You’re always the same
And my offering
To you I bring

Your name is Jesus
You’re the wonderful, counselor, my friend
You’re what I hold on to
I know that You brought me through
All the days of loss and to the cross, You knew
That I’d need a Savior

How many songs
Can I sing to proclaim
Your wondrous love
Oh and beauty so great
Oh and, What would I say
If You brought down the rain
And everyday I walked through the pain
My heart would still say…


......All the days of loss, and to the cross You knew,
That I'd Need a Savior Well, I'd need a Savior...
You're what I hold onto, I know that You brought me through
All the days of loss and to the cross You knew,
That I'd need a Savior
I'd need a Savior,
I need You Savior.

-Amoung the Thirsty

Manic Monday

All those of you with little ones (or big ones I dont know those days yet but I am amazed at how you survive day to day, probably like myself- By the Grace of God) if Monday's are the hardest days for your entire household then you know what I am about to talk about!  I don't know what it is, I have many hypothesis' I am testing at the moment, as to what in the world causes my children to become totally malfunctioning and emotionally unstable on a Monday!  My two top guesses are that they are adjusting to losing one of the parenting due who's spent the past two days meeting their every need at every moments request in .25 sec and entertaining them with (literally) a song and dance before any tear would be shed over  ie. the dropper for medicine that is now used as a water shooter in the bath tub, OR the fact that they had such a busy weekend usually they got to bed way too late, added strange foods to their usual diet, and saw way too many people besides just each other.... 

All together I say that because usually on a Monday, when all they can handle is a few diaper changes, 3 meals, a on schedule nap and a quiet day with toys all over the house I just spend the weekend cleaning...I ALWAYS have to go to the store for the essentials (which i was humbled and glad to see some were on another moms must have in the house at all time list) 1.milk (reg and coconut) 2. tortillas 3.string cheese 4.cereal (a diff fav each month) 5.bananas 6.paper towels 7.edema (a new request of kehnley's)

I wish our Kroger didnt have the cars attached to the cart that requires a complete antibacterial wipe down, and biceps like Jillian Micheal's to just maneuver through the produce section.  I wish our Kroger DID have small grocery carts like we used to have so K could push her own cart and fill it with all the things i can mouth to the Checker without her seeing "we are getting any of that" as he pretends to put it on the belt but in a basket behind the counter instead, thank you Checker at no.11! 

The art of shopping has to happen in perfect synchronization with the highest caliber of mood on a Monday which happens between the time slot of after morning nap for Sadie and before snack time and silent morning demands of entertain me  by Kehnley- 10-10:45 so luckily I live exactly 4 min from Kroger door to door!

Hope your Monday isnt Manic and if you feel it going that way do what we do: pray, stop, and drop it like its hot!

Disclaimer- when you put your ipod on shuffle there IS a chance you will go from seds fam worship to jenny from the block any minute...

This is the mil dversion of a jam session, the floor really got cut up after i turned the camera off and she saw herself in the dishwasher reflection...there was more bounce for the ounce and shaking what her mamma gave'er!  Ill try and get a shot of that next! :)

Advent and Christmas Traditions

Dear Advent box, how I have missed you.  Last year we had a blast and Kehnley really thought you were magic how you would always have a new fun treat and instructions for a fun day ahead as we counted down the days til Jesus' birthday.  This year I can't wait to see you because she knows a little more and is going to be SO excited to see what you have in store!  Of course we have our nativity advent that helps us keep our days all in a row and as we fill the manger with all the animals and angels I can't help but get a little anxious to see what Sadie will do with you when I am not looking!

Some old some new family traditions to share, please feel free to let me know yours AND use some of ours!

25 stories of Christmas:
This year we are going to wrap a book (some old some new) that are all about Christmas and since Bry misses all the advent full all day while he's away at work, he will be the one to greet her with a new wrapped book every day when he gets home and that will be the book she gets to read at bedtime with us.  I can't wait for her to see the Grinch Stole Christmas Original, and a new book I found called God gave us Christmas!

Hidden Crown:
My husband is German and I looked up years ago German traditions for Christmas, i also asked about some that their family had when he was growing up.  Is mom shared with me how her mom, the boys Granny would decorate the tree and keep it hidden until Christmas eve!  That was the first time they got to see it!  But since I am pretty obsessed with falling asleep on the couch by only the light of the Christmas tree each year (there is just a joy that brings me that I can't express) lol  I couldn't do that one, but hiding a pickle in the tree is a tradition for many Germain homes and who ever finds it gets a special treat.  Well, this year we are hiding a crown. We did something like it last year, but I am going to REALLY hide it good this year and who ever finds it gets to put it on the cake and present it to Jesus for His birthday!  (Hopefully K will find it first! lol)

Christmas bake off:
We have a Christmas baking cookie exchange that I hope to share with some new friends and family this year!  Last year at the Blowey's K had a blast decorating "goodies"  for friends to share, she wanted to eat all those "goodies" as she called them all the time though! 

Shrinky-Dink:
Every year for many years (Bry loves this....well....he's grown to love it) we make shrinky-dink ornaments!  They are SO fun, great keepsakes and make the best gifts!  And it's just amazing seeing all those big drawings and art work shrink down to pretty little ornaments for our tree!  One day when I am old and gray i will have enough shrinky-dinks to cover a tree all on their own!  (And Bry will probably have a billion deer feeder scenes he's created from year to year on his!)

Advent Box:
I get ideas from blogs and websites and my crazy sleepless nights up for hours thinking about things to make and do on the days leading to Christmas that are fun and silly and remind us the joy of the season!  Some are the same each year... some are different.  Here is the first for this year and the sources I have for the rest I will post tomorrow.  (it's been a CRAZY week!)

W. Day 1  Make a wreath for Advent. Talk about what advent means.  Decorate the tree and Bry is bringing the first wrapped book today all about the Christmas tree!!


Speaking of Christmas Tree, this guy wanted in on the fun this year!  Happy Adventing everyone!!

Some Sources:
http://www.familyfun.go.com/ or http://familyfun.go.com/christmas/homemade-christmas-gifts/
http://www.bhg.com/
Book called New Noel
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/christmas/
http://holidays.kaboose.com/christmas/
http://christiancrafters.com/Journey-to-the-Manger-cvr.gif

           

             
 

Day 8 to 10 : Thanksgiving to Obedience

We have certainly had a lot to be thankful for, and I am thankful especially for this week, for Bry to experience God in a new way, and for God to use my time alone (and by alone i mean surrounded by kids and toys and friends and family) lol... but totally alone at some parts of the night once the girls are in bed and to just hear God's voice.  It's amazing how the things God gives us can distract us so much from Him!  I am learning more and more just how to honor Him with those gifts and not be carried away by them.  I had an awesome time in Dallas getting ot love on my best friends and I only wish that I had more time to do that stuff more often.  I got to experience God's miracle in seeing Kairi Anne, so beautiful this baby girl!  I loved seeing Amy and Landry's new place, it's so nice!!  I want to move in :)  Sadie looooveed the dogs!  I can't wait to get back and see how kehnley has been doing! I will post pics soon of my trip there. 

As for thanks giving, I picked Bry up from the airport on my way back and it was so funny to see him, he looked different, but the same, Sadie looked at him and stared for a moment then smiled like she hadnt all weekend.  It blessed me to think that at 6 months she knows his face and loves him so much!  I know that smile made him feel so good that she was saying with her little gummy grin 'I missed you'. 

I have spent the past few days listening to Bry's stories, they are pretty amazing and I am so beyond joyful that I married a man who knows how to share his heart...he has been reading me his journal and its like Im there with him experiencing it all together.  Thanksgiving that God lets us be a part of the sharing of the gospel that it my give us momentum to love others into knowing Him and experiencing His joy and experience His power to change hearts, especially our own.  If the soul propose of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever then in a world where there are so many distractions from that:, where rather than enjoy Him we enjoy His gifts and instead of glorifying our God we glorify ourselves...the gift of seeing salvation come to the lost it reminds us that it's personal and speaks differently to everyone.  As long as we dont misunderstand the gospel message is the same: Christ came that we might be united once again to God after the sin of our flesh separated us from Him, we are saved by believing in our heart that Jesus is Lord and confessing with our mouths that He is all (Romans 10:9-10), although the way it reaches hearts is very individualized.  Thankfully we celebrate the 30 lives that were changed because of those who were faithful to go on this trip and the many more from them who will come to experience the Joy of the Lord.  We have much to celebrate, tonight under our roof we celebrate that my darling Bryson is home but more so that he did not let anything keep him from sharing the love of God with the world! People from all over: age, gender, race, social standing received Christ last week because God was gracious enough to call Bry out of his comfortable home and into the mountains of Venez.
Thankful for the men and women and children all over the world putting their own agenda aside to live out their faith and share Christ with all they meet, to orchestrate meetings in order that some might know Him and be formed into His likeness...they are risking their lives even for the gospel.  For their obedience I pray tonight.  Let the harvest be fruitful for them Lord, let them not labor in vain. 

Obedience for us, here in our lives, to look for the greater picture, to Him who is greater and worthy of it all...how will I live out this boldness and purpose in my home?  How will I teach my girls all the mysteries of Christ?  I must start with prayer!  Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and prayers, we have felt them and it's been life changing for us all.

Day 5&6: Giving light and Boldness

To date I have missed two calls and a facebook message from Bry.lol.  Looks like it's all about him and God and it's been fun being an onlooker in the relationship they have.  I love hearing the messages reading the text and seeing God working from afar.  I think it's the best possible thing because it's truly between them and I like that we will talk when he gets home.  Another amazing thing is when you pray and believe God hears prayers and then get to actually SEE them come to fruition and get to EXPERIENCE God's power, it's not only faith building, it's humbling because you realize just how awesome God is.  I am more and more learning that a relationship with Christ is about joy, experiencing joy, worshiping Him because of the joy He brings, and realizing that joy is worked, it's not a quick cheep temporary emotion, its worked into my life through sometimes really hard stuff!

Bry said that he had the opportunity to share this gospel of joy with 8 ppl and that Jeremiah 24:7 lead two to Christ and I am overjoyed that the Kingdom is growing that there are 8 more brothers and sisters in Christ who get to experience true joy in the Lord and that God let Bry experience that as well!

I know that he's the one who went away to do God's work...but I feel like God is doing a great work in me...I feel so much conviction over my heart to be greater for God, to be more loving less critical, to be encouraging, to parent with more grace and mercy and realizing how the cross is the only thing that makes me anything at all.  I feel a profound draw to the Lord right now that I haven't felt in a really long time.  One so strong that there is nothing on my heart more, there is nothing more pressing than to sit at His feet and take in His word and learn from Him.  I think it's good that Bry went away for this time for so many reasons, but one of them is that I might get a chance to be enthralled again with God.

How quickly I have been giving my affections to the things God has made and not to the creator who made them to reflect His goodness and cause me to worship Him all the more...

Back to Bryson, this days prayers are to be of sharing the light of the gospel and to cause boldness to stir in the hearts of those sharing...God has done that and there are many who's lives are just beginning, what a blessing!

We all go about our day to all kind of places with all kinds of people, it's not just about going across the world it's about going to where God has put us in areas of influence around ppl that only we have contact with and doing this very thing...
Mark 16:15
"He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."

Lets do this!

Day 4: Melt Down!

Sooooooo... was going to try and be thankful today, turns out when you make that your daily task... you face MUCH opposition! It was a really hard day, Kehnley was on the verge of a melt down every second! It was pretty tough, BUT every time I would start to pray for something silly like "God please dont let this painting fall and break because I dont think I could take it!" I felt conviction to pray for something a LITTLE more substantial...so anyway, I did that, and me and Kehnley had to stop several times and pray together for kind words to come out of our mouths and for loving hearts to be what we had and not meanness (Sadie didnt have to pray because she was being sweet, I had to explain this to Kehnley).

We went to get Snow cones thought it might brighten up her mood. Everything was going great till I had to spend 30 min in the middle of sadies late afternoon nap and woke her up in the process going into the bank to get a new pen number bc the snow cone shack is the only place left in Htown that doesnt take anything but cash. We get our cones and lilly had her ice cone too and we are sitting down to enjoy when kehnley has a few bites and hers falls over, only a super tiny amount falls out and she LOOSES it! I mean, gone, loses her MIND! She grabs hr face like home alone and screams bloody murder and cries and gasps and grabs her mouth and shakes her head like Lilly had just ran off with her ice cone and got hit by a car! it was terrible and HILARIOUS all at the same time, it was one of those parenting moments when you want to die laughing but have to keep your composure at the fear of scaring your child for life.

Her are a few pics of our outing, the best part of the day, except maybe this quiet moment I am having right now and the ab workout I'm gonna have before lights out...

Sadie ate her dinner in the front yard bc... well... why not!





This is right before the melt down! that cup is about to tip over onto the grass...

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Ps. Why is is that one of the nights when Bry is gone, as I am laying sadie down into her bed after just getting her cleaned and dressed, Kehnley takes a break from singing Cruella Devill to call my name across the hall and say "Mom, I pooped in the tub, can you wipe my bottom." Wow... there better be some people coming to Jesus this week, or I'm gonna be ticked! ( just kidding lol) I had to whisper, "step out of the tub and sit on the potty and wait there for me, i'm comin' and baby doll, dont ever do that again please."

Day 2 &3- Hearts and Fear

I am writing this in the midst of the sounds of my girls playing and laughing and realize just how truly lucky I am to have the sweet children in my home, to have my home, to have my family, my country of so many freedoms, to have a car, a church, a store 3 minutes away, a neighborhood that is safe, a swimming pool around the corner, neighbors who are friendly, and many many more luxuries that we take for granted every day. I have been asking the Holy Spirit to impart to me what to pray for Bryson and conviction in the hearts of leadership and banishment of fear for following the Lord whole heartedly and what that means keep coming to mind. SO that's what I am praying for. God has dealt with fear in my life before, many a time. I am not a worrier or a fear driven person, I am a little more unaware and almost ignorantly blissful if you will most of the time lol... so when fear does set in i know that it's not from actual circumstance but something put in my mind to distract me from trusting God, from seeing things clearly, and sometimes from making wise choices in really important times.

2 Corinth 4:6
"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. "

It still is amazing to me that God made so many references to light and dark in talking of our relationship with Him. he gave us light that would live inside of us, that even in the dark we might not be in fear or taken over by it... but that everywhere we go would be illuminated the truth of who He is and that would change lives, including our own!

John 10:16
"I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. "

This verse really broke my heart i heard it in church one Sunday, a day when i was really facing fear of Bry going on his trip and it was so convicting to me to realize that God has ppl out there who He wants to bring under His care and they are waiting to hear from Him...that made my heart for the lost change dramatically and really give me a new desire to share His love with any and all who might be like a sheep looking for a shepherd.

Ppl who desperately wanted to belong to something, have a family, have a purpose...they have one in Christ.

Jerm. 24:7
I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and "I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. "

Some people think that God is disconnected (looking over but never reaching out), or a spiritual vending machine (you put prayers in you get hings out, you put time in you get your hearts desire)... or even worse that He doesnt really matter or care about you. I love this verse because it's just one of many that fill the whole bible that God loves us deeply and wants us to know that. He can change lives, change hearts, and He is like a loving Father, a father some have never had, who wants to take us into His arms and comfort us, hold us up, and give us all things good.

I prayed for my heart as well as anyone else who might have forgotten or never really known JUST how much God loves them...

Romans 8:28-32
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? "

~~~~~

He has given us so many great things, salvation and eternal life are the two that are most precious and yet, very rarely through out the mundane tasks of the day do I thank God for those, or anything else we have so graciously been given. Today I think that's what my hearts focus is going to be on...thanking Him for all this and more!

Day 1: Pray for Safe travel!

When I dropped Bry off at the airport I was able to keep it together, didnt have the ugly cry face til AFTER i drove away :). But for real, he strapped on his "big bear backpack" and gave me the a "hang-ten" hand and then was on his way! the most hilarious part is that he packed mostly fishing pants and no rinse soap...if something ever happened to me I think he's outfit the girls in windbreakers and head out with Bear Grills on all his adventures like a crazy groupie!

Anyway, hopefully we never have to see pictures of that! lol

He told me that there were 20 ppl along with their crew that were on the flight as well from Tallowood Bapt. "Looks like the bapt. are taking the plane over!" were His words. Right now he's probably on his route to whatever town they will be in and leaving Caracas.

This what I felt the Lord was pressing on my heart to pray for today...
Day 1 Travel
Pray for safe travel to each village, town and city for the members on their team and encounters along the way that might lead to Christ

Col. 4:3 says...
"And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ"

Christ IS a mystery, one that I have loved uncovering and I am hoping that it will be revealed to those going and receiving. It certainly happens that when we try to share Him with others we learn more of Him ourselves.

2 Corn. 2:17 says...
"Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God."

I pray that they would know these ppl are coming out of a love for God and others and they would know how deep the Fathers love is for them that they might be encouraged and renewed!

~~~~~

As far as us here at home, we spent the day at Fancy and Papa's house swimming, playing and just enjoying their company. Every time I began to miss Bry I just prayed for him in different ways. I know that everyone out there who is deeply in love thinks that their relationship is unlike any other, and its true if you have a great love...there is just nothing to describe what it's really like to be married to some one you have been in love with most your life, like us. Going through this preparation for this trip its stirred so many emotions in us both.. one of them is just the realization of how beyond blessed we are to have a love like ours, to be so passionately in love and to be so close, he's my best friend, but more than that he's the companion that God picked especially for me. Some people don't believe in "the one" they think that there are plenty of ppl you could be with, it just so happens this person through circumstances ended up being the one...I disagree I know there is no one like him, there is no one who could compare in my life. He's been the love of my life for 13 years...and to think that there are moments I haven't cherished with him breaks my heart. This trip has opened my eyes to how much I need to make it a priority to show him just how precious he is to me, how much I adore him and I don't ever want to waste a day that I might have to just know him more. 13 years of caring about a person and learning them and sharing the most life changing moments together and yet there is still something in me that gets all caught up when I see him! I miss him like crazy. But then again, the Holy spirit keeps reminding me that I neglect to show my love for the Lord, my allegiance to Him, and i am convicted of the time i spend on other things rather than knowing Him more... I have missed having a heart that chases after Him and His word. So even as I think of Bry and miss him, my heart is caught up in my Love for God instead and I am taking this time to stoke those embers that have grown dim over the past months and take my focus off the things that have distracted me all this time and just consider God's unending love for me, I know there are others out there who need to do the same. Don't wait...

Vomos Venez...Praying Bryson through the mission field

It's currently 12:25, I'm so exhausted I can barely stand to keep my eyes awake to write this post but Bry leaves for Venezuela tomorrow on his first of many mission trips. Its been a crazy few months leading up to his departure tomorrow. We've been hit with a lot of things, a lot of distractions, a lot of trials, but God has been faithful and fully involved in all of it showing us His will. Even in the midst of much opposition, however, he is still going and i am still 100% positive it's what God desires most. Prior to him even stepping foot on a plane, he's had the opportunity to share the love of Christ and the calling of Him on his life and heart with people at work and family, it's been a long time since we both have had this passion for boldness in this way.



Our hearts have been bruised and broken again for the lost!The quickest way that the enemy could distract us from that calling was to make us busy in our own lives... and it certainly happened! But I am so grateful for Bryson's fervor to go and to share the gospel, to teach and to encourage.... it's truly been the compass of our home. There are a few events I want to record so I don't forget in the Lord prepping and preparing this trip for us.

1. we knew we didnt have the funds for this trip or anything around it and God provided above and beyond what we had ever hoped, up until the last day with some very real and random ways for us to have all angels of this trip provided for financially

2. Bry had a chance the day after finding out he was on the evangelism team to run into a pair of Mormon's with Ronnie (what are the chances of that.. those poor guys didnt know what they were getting themselves into) and Bry was able to really engage in some tough and probing conversations that was just a little prep course before he left for Venz.

3. Sadie went to the emergency room and we both learned not only that all we have is His.... but also the power of prayer!

4. From that God has changed our perspective on the things we have and where certain things used to be higher on our importance or priority line up, they have dropped way down behind cherishing moments we have with each other and our girls!

5. Conversations at Brys work have been circulating and deep talks of the Lord as well: biblical moral parallels, the "mission field" at large, and prayers towards service for us and the members of our church.

6. Sharing total trust and faith in Christ with family members and friends.

7. I have personally faced a lot of mental battle with this trip coming and as it got closer the thoughts got tougher to face. I was in total peace when the trip came up and as weeks began to get closer to the departure date the enemy really attacked me and I have learned the power of God's word to diminish all fear and learned more about God's heart for the world to know Him!

Some of these are really vague, but they have all been prepping and preparing us for the next 10 days. I felt called by the Lord to share some scripture that God not only used to comfort me but He used to share with me His good, and perfect plans AND what to be praying over Bry for each day that he is away. I hope that those of you who know and love us would join in with me.

8. This morning before Bry is to leave he was telling Kehnley that he was going to go on a trip to tell people in another part of the world about Jesus and His love for them and she responded in all her infinate 3 year old wisdom... "Dad, you gotta go what God tells you".

Today I feel great and at peace that things are going to transpire that God will have His glory known in more of the world because of Bry's faithfulness and not being swayed by much opposition... but I am still going to miss him and try my hardest to keep an attitude of gratitude even in the toughest moments whether here or there! We most likely won't be able to communicate over the next 10 days, but I know that the spirit goes between us and will guide our hearts on what to pray, the Lord has already laid certain things for certain days to be praying over, will you join me?

Day 1 Travel
Pray for safe travel to each village, town and city for the members on their team and encounters along the way that might lead to Christ
Col. 4:3, 2 Corinth 2:17,

Day 2 Hearts
Pray for the hearts of those who have gone to do God's work, for those who are left to wait and see, and for those waiting for salvation that don't yet know how near it is!
2 Corinth 4:6, John 17:3, John 10:16, Jer 24:7,

Day 3 Banishing fear
Fear for us here, fear for those who are doing God's will in Venezuela, around the world, and those who are being attacked in many ways by the enemy even as we pray
Ps 112:6-7, Rom. 8:28-32,

Day 4 Protection and Shield
Where ever they go, whatever they are doing pray a hedge of protection around them, angels guarding them and watching them, let them feel the presence of the mighty hand of God covering them
Ps 119:114, Ps 91:9-11

Day 5 Giving light to those living in darkness
Pray that God will unveil the eyes of the lost, that the people who know what truth is when they hear it and that they will accept this light that leave no darkness to fear anymore
John 11:9-10, Isaiah 50:10, 1 Pt 2:9-10

Day 6 Boldness
Pray for an ever increasing boldness to overcome those who are working on behalf of the Lord, let a steadfast fight be put in their spirit to speak God's word at all times
Ps. 138:3, Mark 16:15

Day 7 Strength to endure
Pray for weak hands and bodies and minds to be strengthened by God, let their will not be deterred and let them hold fast to God's purpose for them
2 Corinth 4:8, 1 Cor. 4:12-13, Isaiah 40:29-31

Day 8 Spreading of the Gospel
Pray God let the gospel reach those who will carry it on to others who might not know God, let it reach all the ends of the earth as God desires
Col. 4:3, John 12:32, 1 Corinth 1:17

Day 9 Thanksgiving
Pray thanking God for the lives who will be forever changed, for God's glory being shared and reveled and for doing all He said He would do, He is so faithful!
1 Tim 2:1,3-4, Jn 2:1b-2, 2 Corn 4:15

Day 10 Obedience
Pray for continual trust and obedience for those who are just now hearing God's voice for the first time and those who have been listening to Him for years, let them not turn away from their maker. Make their feet ready for whatever comes next!
James 2:17, Ps 67, 1 Jn 3:16-18

Update on Sadie...

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement, Sadie woke up at 3 am with a tight chest and breathing problems, she started getting frantic, as did I, she was not responding and so we took her to the ER, she is doing better now and after breathing treatments and a steroid treatment and seeing her doc what started as bronchial spasms and possible pre-asthmatic symptoms became a viral infection that got into her lungs. Besides a sore throat and a lack of sleep she is doing MUCH better. We are at home resting, trying to anyway, and thankful for my brother Justin who came to be with us and for Bry's rents who took care of Kehnley all day. This is def. a day I will never forget!

It puts life into perspective when you almost loose one...

I have never seen a dad drive that fast or myself pray so hard in my life. This was the verse that I read at midnight just 3 hrs before all this went down... I had know idea what it would mean to me today.

Psalm 8
"O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth, Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens ! From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength... When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained ; What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty ! You make him to rule over the works of Your hands ; You have put all things under his feet, ... O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth !"

You have given us these little people to look after, yet we know VERY well, that we are just overseers of what is already yours. We have no control that you don't give us, we have no way to save...only you can. As I held her body laying next to her in that hospital bed I thought of how fragile life is and all i could think was why didn't I hold her last night a little longer, I looked into Brysons red eyes and know he was thinking the same. I thought back to my frantic panic of what to do those seemingly long minutes before we drove to the hospital begging God to answer our questions, keep her with us, and help her breath. There have been a lot of scares with our girls lately: Kehnley passing out from a heat stroke at the park, getting an allergic reaction at the store and almost being unable to breath herself, and now this. I am fully aware that each day we have with them is a gift. And I am honored to think that God has given us one more, for whatever reason, He has favor on us. Humbled by David's words in the psalm when he says "and the son of man that you care for him? YET you make him a little lower than God and you crown HIM with glory and majesty" God does care for us. I learned that today. God cares for me, for my family, for my children and it's not that I deserve it... it's because He is majestic and awesome. Another translation says "O Lord, O Lord, the majesty of your name fills the earth! Your glory is higher than the heavens. You have taught children and infants to give you praise." She has taught me to give Him praise.... thank you Sadie, I knew the day you were born that you would teach me things about God I never knew.

Enjoy your loved ones today and if you don't think God cares for you...ask Him to show you, and He will! "For God so LOVED the world, He gave HIS only son, that everyone who believes might not perish but have eternal life {with Him.}" John 3:16

The Little People know it all!

You know how someone can say something that's totally eye opening and makes you look at the world in a whole new way, or changes your mind, or convicts your heart, or makes you smile... and you never forget it?

What about when they are 2 or 2 months old? Does that astound you that a person who has barely even been a person for very long can be so wise and teach you more than you have learned in your 28 years of life?

Kehnley was taking a bath and I was in and out of the bathroom, i know this is probably totally unsafe, i was in the laundry room where i could see her and time to time i'd run to her room or Sadie's room to put clothes away or run a toy in there just to pick up a bit. Anyway, by the time i finished all my cleaning i felt guilty that she had been playing in there alone... what she spoke next made the guilt knife dig deeper.
Kehnley: mom im gonna go to school but don't be sad
me: when are you going to school? what do you mean?
Kehnley : don't be sad mom, one day, I go to school.
be happy mom, be excited for me
me: i will be excited for you when that day comes, but i will miss you
Kehnley : it okay mom just wait for me in the car and i be back
don't be sad, i be back
me: what made you think about going to school
Kehnley (no answer just kept playing with her animals in the tub)

An amazing thing that I was already feeling guilt for missing that moment with my child then all of a sudden, out of the blue, she is talking about one day she will be at school and away from me.... where did she even come up with that?! It really drove home that I DO need to cherish my moments with her because she WILL be off at school all day one day. Oh man, Im not ready to think of that yet. Lesson learned: don't miss opportunity, don't waste a minute!

Optimism: every morning no matter what the weather, Kehnley says "mom...beautiful day today?!" She says it all through the day too... its become her way of saying shes enjoying her day. I love it!

I love how curious she is about everything, a ladybug on her finger is the best thing that happened to her all weekend, she is fascinated with everyday life, laughs all the time and tickle monster and other silly stuff.... she find comfort in routine (how many times I try to shun away from mundane and routine and she thrives on it!)
She meets someone new and its an instant friendship, there are no boundaries to what you will share and do and how they stand so close to each other lol, no prejudice, no competition or guards up... I want to be like that! Shes content in little things, doesn't want all the time.. shes thrilled with a cup of chocolate Cheerios lol... I want a content spirit like that.
Then there is Sadie- starts her day with the biggest smile, melts my heart, makes me wish I could always wake up that happy. She looks so intently at things, doesn't have to say a word and reminds me that God is good to me. She loves to look at ppl more than anything, she cries when she hears a baby cry even if its on tv... what a sensitive heart... it makes me want compassion in my heart too. She nuzzles her face into my chin when she wants to sleep and it makes me feel stronger than I am, more protecting that I am, and I want a person I can do that with (just push my face into their chin and rest...God can be that for me) I think about how much she loves just seeing me, she can be sad and fussy or even hungry or tired and crying but if she can see me she stops! I can totally relate :) there are ppl in my life and times with my heavenly Father where i just need to see them and I am okay. They dont have to do anything or say anything just be in the room or near me and I know it will all be good.

I learn so much all day from these girls... it just amazes me!