Is she a good baby?
Thanks so Kandace and Josh and their new baby girl, I write this post, I hope its okay that I am using them as my inspiration for something I feel now and probably always will. This is for new moms, old moms, moms to be... its tough being a mom. You want to make sure that you are doing a good job and for me and my personality that means perfection, but sometimes that can be the driving force to all that discourages you. One thing i always heard those first months but never really understood until i had two was that "all babies are unique and different" even when it comes to the science that is sleep. (and believe me, its science alright!) I see now having two girls who are from the same parents and under the same roof, who even at times favor each other so much I call them by each others names... ALL babies are different!
As a new mom I was always asked these two questions and in order "Is she a good baby?" "Is she a good sleeper?" Lets face it, they were asking them together because its habit AND its expected that a good baby MUST be a good sleeper. As a sleep deprived parent u can understand the obsession with the sleeping questions. Not to mention the "baby industry" has made a small fortune on this science in books, most of which I have bought and read, teaching us moms just HOW to get these babies to sleep.
So you may have a "good baby/good sleeper" but for me... I just had an amazing baby who didn't sleep through the night til after she was one. Did you have a schedule? YES Did you feed her enough during the day? YES Was she being stimulated enough throughout the day? YES The other questions that weren't asked and I never knew about til AFTER she was much older was: Did she develop quickly? YES and Did she have all her teeth by 12 months including molars? YES Were you and your husband good sleepers as babies? NO Because to tell you the truth once you DO get your baby on a good sleep schedule and master the science like a true MD then things happen like: growth spurts, solid foods, a move, a vacation, teething, a dog next door that wont stop barking, rain storms and illness...
Guess what? Kehnley is almost 3, she sleeps in her own bed,even a big girl bed, no cage bars or side rails, no locks on the doors and no Benedryl at night and she LOVES her bed, she loves to sleep in it and she sleeps really well. Nothing I did really crated this love of her bed or of sleep except to make sure that she loved her room and knew she was safe in her own space. And prayer, LOTS of prayer :)
I did read all the books, but the one i have come to love is The Contented Baby because it gives clear explanation and guidance as to what to do from day one to create cues for sleep.. like Sadie goes in her bed the same time every night, for the most part I mean I DO have an active almost 3 yr old, and she sleeps really well... i put her in slightly sleepy awake and put the passie in and pat her back, now passies are off limits to the author but guess what BABIES Love to suck and so she gets a passie, and guess what my baby is getting teeth and has been since 2 months SO she really needs the passie and some nights she doesn't do too good, but it's bc her mouth hurts and i just go in and pat her back and sooth her best i can and we go day by day not stressing about the small stuff. The thing is this, we get so caught up comparing ourselves to other moms and babies and it makes us fee like failures, and that's not what God wants... especially the first few months, your baby is new to the world, them have only known a water dark belly for 9 months and now they have all this new stuff to take in, they WANTS to be close to you, they know nothing but what you show them and teach them its going to be a learning experience the rest of their lives for them AND for you... there are certainly bigger problems that just sleep, but I hope that none of you have to deal with them!
If ever I need rest God gives me a noon-day nap or he increases my energy and looking back i was VERY tired with kehnley that first year, but we moved to a new home when she was 3 months then moved again 9 months later, she had all her teeth was eating by 4 1/2 months of cereal, she was walking holding stuff by 7 months fully on her own by the start of 9 and she was a baby, like mom and dad, who thought sleeping was for the birds :) I do have to say... I wish now she would let me hold her for hours and rock her like I did all those restless nights when I wished she was asleep in her bed. I wouldn't trade those moments for the world, and God used them to slow me down and help me trust in Him.
Sadie is a great sleeper, a good baby... she has a hard time eating bc she eats fast and her teeth hurt and she just wants to chew and not eat... all I can do as a mom is try my best to meet her needs and not get caught up in numbers and statistics and worry myself everyday that my baby isn't preforming like someone elses child, even if it's in a textbook. So to all you moms out there, read the books, ask questions, but at the end of the day, or night, remember that God made your baby uniquely for you and YOU are the best judge of what they need... you never know what tomorrow will hold and if you have to stay up a few more hours than you would like or you haven't showered in 2 days, you got bills your not sure how they will get paid or you just need a moment of quiet remember this:
"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
Praying for you today!
And pray for this new family as they learn and love each other too!