One minute we are playing on the drum and the next minute Kehnley is squealing and making this face that is so funny I just burst out laughing every time I think of it. She stands up and walks into the other room saying "Gu Gu" and "Buh Buh" and so I repeat "Buh, Buh, Buh" and Bry says "Buh" and soon we are all saying "Buh" and it's then that I realize we are all speaking this totally foreign language that is so beautiful to my ears. It's coupled with laughter and a sweet baby girl walking fast at me with her mouth open because she is so excited to be moving on her own and I just can't help but share this moment in writing because I don't want to forget it. Life is so simple in that moment and I know it won't always be that way, I just want to savor it all. God has shown me the joy of having a child and how it outweighs every other desire in my heart and every other moment I could dream before for my own life or for my marriage or for my career, or for my family... it's an amazing thing to have a much sweeter passion that the one you have been cultivating for so long. Some might think that a waste, but I know there are seasons of our lives that come and go and teach us things we need to know for the next new sunrise.
I keep thinking for some reason of all the people in the world, lost, lonely, needy, poor, wounded, fighting...and How God came to give them abundant life. Or those who are hurt and full or regret, who won't forgive themselves or let life be abundant the way God desired. He never said, "I came to give you money, health, all your wildest dreams, fame and an easy life". He said that he came to give us "life to the full" and "abundant life" John 10:10
Bry and I have decided to have a whole new attitude about gratitude and let it be our guiding force for all our actions and words, the way we live life and the people that we become, who we teach our kids to be... all coming from this place of contentment and letting THAT be what guide us day to day. The abundant life God promised us is only going to come when we embrace this way of thinking. I have said before it's all about perspective... well it's about time that my beliefs start matching my actions. It's not enough just to SAY we know something if there isn't evidence of that in our lives. I love what David says about the Lord; His power, provision, and love...
I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.
I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. "Selah"
You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
"Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?" "Selah"
Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.
Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. "Selah"
The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed.
The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth.
Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked.
Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.
You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Psalm 150