A lot can happen in a day!

I have been so swamped and too overwhelmed to write but I will tell you God can do a lot in a day. He really floored me with something amazing and an answer to prayer, not in the shape I expected but isn't that how our God operates? I will update more over the holiday weekend because I can bet I won't have time til then!
since my last blog-we got our house keys, met our wonderful neighbors, started painting, went to a best friends wedding, spend more money than we have in a LONG time, slept very little...and so has Kehnley. Cry for Nicole's new adventure at school, I started work and found out I am teaching preK and have a special task I know nothing of yet and got to encourage someone in the Lord, be a positive presence, and see God's purpose for me this year, and the peace everyone has been talking about finally came :) I also got to see my daughter dancing more this week than I have in my life... and that's one of those wonderful and beautiful things I have been waiting for as a mom for some time now.

You know how there are just things toy are excited to see from your children... and you can't WAIT until they do it!? Sounds funny, but dancing is one of those things for me.. I LOVE to dance and I love dancing with her it's so refreshing and blows my mind that God makes her to dance so soon... she's dancing for Him too!

I'll post pics from the wedding, house, and my little dancer soon!
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement

The last night

Tomorrow is the summers official end and I will be starting the full time again, it's been over a year since I have been at work all day and away from my little darling for the first time. I am so anxious, but not in a good way. I keep repeating God's word in my heart and head to "rejoice at all times, be gentle to all, and do not be anxious about anything" Phil. 4:4-6 I am trying so hard to trust the Lord with my job, my time away from my family and balancing all the new things this year. I don't know how I will handle it all...the last time I taught full time I was miserable and dreaded every morning and it was just survival. Last year I started at a new school and loved it, but being away from Kehnley is more unbearable than I had expected. Now I will not only be gone half the day, but all day! Today I was rocking her to sleep and I started to cry because it's finally hit me.

I am sure if what I would say to someone in my place, but I feel very alone in my concerns with work, I have no one I can trust to talk to about my struggle there, and to top it off with the move and the responsibilities of a mom and wife and college bible study leader I can't help but feel overwhelmed.

I'm not going to lie, I am jelous of those that have their dream jobs... I wish that I loved doing lesson plans, going to meetings, and staying up at the school all hours of the day and night... and as an art teacher lessons are so intricate that it's not just pen and paper, it's so much more that goes into planning sometime it takes me all week to plan just one, I wish I loved it but I don't...

I can't think of one thing to rejoice about in this situation, except that I know it won't last forever and God is still God and He's always with me.

Longing to be loved....God's beloved

I used to write these emails every day or every other day called "Thoughts of the Day" it was a few years back, when I was in college, with an abundance of time resting on these artists' hands. Once life got hectic and I got consumed with all the other things on my to do list. I let that part of my witness leave me. I would hear a word from God, and He would then tell me, now this is what I want you to share. Part of me wonders what made me stop... had God ceased all passion in me for sharing His word with the people closest to me? Or had I become so consumed with the "American Dream" (you know... marriage, house, babies, friends, work, calendars) that I let my spiritual life become all to increasingly private?

Currently it's 1:12 am and I know that at any moment my daughter could very well call to me in the dead of night with a whimpering cry and break this still moment I am hearing the Lord speak and challenge me and call me out for the fake I have been... but I will press on.

I wrote a response to a blog from a girl I know named Ashley. She wrote about an experience close to what we experienced at our church on Easter Sunday. During the song Remedy by DCB members of our church held up signs to the congregation that named their deepest struggles, sins, convictions, and life circumstances...(talk about being real) and on the reverse side of those cards were beautiful words of how God had done what He's so good at doing, restored and healed their scars.
It reminds me of God's word:
"You tuned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11

She asked at the end of her blog, what would be your cardboard testimony? I thought and thought and as I tried to think of something clever to say, something less transparent, less labeling, and more safe... I felt God calling me to step out.

As we know God and grow in Christ-likeness, it's a reality that we will have many labels to demolish and many strongholds to break, and Praise God many new beginnings. It's a beautiful thing to know that the dance is ours to be had... but it's also greeted with great fear because revelation must be had deep within our hearts. And that means it can get messy. It's not pretty to look over a life of mistakes and perverse motivation to see what a wicked person lies beneath it all...and lets face it, even the best of us are wicked. At one time I thought that word didn't apply me, and God asked me some questions...
Ever been jealous? Ever wanted someone to get what they deserve? Ever not had love for someone different than you? Ever thought unkind things about someone around you? Family member? Friend? Person driving down the road? Ever spoken unkindly to someone, whether they were unkind to you or not? Ever had a doubt about God's reality or character? Ever had a hard time forgiving? Ever been selfish with your time or money? Man!!!!

Wow, mercy is so good isn't it!? The more I know God, the more I KNOW His mercy is real and relevant to our lives!

So she asked what would be your cardboard testimony... hard question for some. For others it's so easy, I am convinced it's because they know the fullness of God's forgiveness.
I fought and fought for my answer like I mentioned earlier, and at the root of all my poor choices and all my searching and all my struggles, I found one desire to be true. The one desire that would define who I was, and what drove the choices I made BR (before redemption).
I shared with Ashley the cardboard testimony that God had given me... and I hope it's okay for me to share that with all of you and also ask:

What would your cardboard say?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Put your hope in the Lord, for with Him there is unfailing love, and with Him is full redemption."

Psalm 103:7

Bum Bum Ba Bum

So many new beginnings to celebrate! First Terry and Ansley's Wedding was so wonderful, she was radiant... it was much more emotional than I had anticipated, but with me... you can assume as much!

Laughing moments:
Ansley's face when she saw the dancing duo of Lyndz ans Keri Live!
Amy crawling under the table to get out for our speech
Me taking the aisle alone and the coordinator throwing me under the bus by sending me out too early ( then later when i reached the end of the aisle, Lyndz's face like "what the heck are you doing lol")
Ronnie dancing up on JBlow and him standing there, mystified

Crying moments:
Me and Amy giving our speech at the rehearsal dinner and my part going down through my tears!
Terry's face when he saw his beautiful bride! Every woman wants to see their future husband so overwhelmed that he gets to have her for life... and I got to see that for her, first hand
Ansley's last dance with Terry before she left ( I remembered my own dance then)

Then off to Amy's Bach Weekend ... I was only there for a little over 24 hrs, but a lot to take in for sure!

Laughing Moments:
So many I can't recall....

Crying moments:
Not so many crying moments unless from overwhelming laughter like the time that Amy played her recorder for the entire Pat O Bryan's crowd, or when she kissed a bald mans head (poor guy!) or when she stood up and announced her first nights love with Landry to a room of 40+ strangers! Or the moments when she did her cheer, first rehearsed by Tarra.. "UN-B lievable!"

(Apparently I didn't get the memo on the sorority squat!)

Here she comes.... walkin down the street....

(And Amy played...)

The Cherry Anniversary
We love Meg and Ronnie and wish that we could see them more than we do... we always think "man we wish that Megan and Ronnie could be here for this... or that" or that we could just call them up and have a game night or reality TV moment shared with them. We laugh so much when we are together. They celebrated their anniversary this past weekend, and so in honor of the "Cherry's" Kehnley had a cherry photo shoot!

All these events, at their core, have the same message to me...it really is amazing to have so many people so close to our hearts even though they don't live anywhere near us. This weekend reminded me of that so much. Me and Lyndz stayed up late talking like the old days and God kept telling me that His plans are for good, and His plans are eternal, and though we don't see the fruit right away and we may not know what His promises always mean they are always on the horizon. A truth that is often hard to wait on but makes each new day so exciting to see what God is going to do and teach and change in us. it made me realize I would rather spend my whole life waiting on God's goodness than wasting energy spending time trying to make my own way, knowing it will never match up to His.

I remember a day I was close to graduating and I was running at Higanbothem (spell check) Park, like usual, but I couldn't get the future off my mind. I was close to ending this chapter of my life, I was engaged and I knew we'd be moving. I didn't know where to, I didn't know what job I would have or where I would live, or who my friends would be. I was scared to say the least, because isn't that what we do when we face change? Even the ones who love change have a tinge of fear at the though of the unknown. In those moments, God's soft still voice broke through he music on my IPod and said "when have I ever let you down?" "when have I have not given you more than you dreamed of, more than you knew you could handle, and more joy than could be express... when have I ever broken a promise to you? When have I ever disappointed you. Not in the midst, but after all was said and done, who made a way for you? Who loved you? Who held you in His hands?"

I couldn't help but look back over my life and time after time, God had been so faithful to me just like the scriptures said. It wasn't always easy or what I might have chosen at the time... but looking back, it was a wonderful life. His presence was always there, He had changed my heart in so man ways, restored relationships, deepened my trust, broken down walls, lead me to incredible worship, shown me the mysteries of Himself, freed me from sin and captured my heart. He was showing me His goodness... and so any time I start to doubt I remember that moment where I was able to praise my God for all He had done, and all He was yet to do... and I am still here to say that His will is always good.

Kiki's new grove...

So Kehnley is called KiKi by some of her friends, and she is learning some new moves. Enjoy!

One of which is the purse drag.




And the other is the diva shoe clap.

But most importantly, her new home...

We found out this week that in two very short weeks we will be able to call our new house, Home! The plan is we will have our keys on the 18th and it will finally be ours. To be honest, this isn't about a new home for us, it's much more than that.... it's about a new beginning for our family and seeing something God has planned and purposed come to fruition and that's so exciting. It hasn't always been easy to wait for... but we have learned to depend on Him so much through the process. Thank you for your prayers!