Tomorrow is the summers official end and I will be starting the full time again, it's been over a year since I have been at work all day and away from my little darling for the first time. I am so anxious, but not in a good way. I keep repeating God's word in my heart and head to "rejoice at all times, be gentle to all, and do not be anxious about anything" Phil. 4:4-6 I am trying so hard to trust the Lord with my job, my time away from my family and balancing all the new things this year. I don't know how I will handle it all...the last time I taught full time I was miserable and dreaded every morning and it was just survival. Last year I started at a new school and loved it, but being away from Kehnley is more unbearable than I had expected. Now I will not only be gone half the day, but all day! Today I was rocking her to sleep and I started to cry because it's finally hit me.
I am sure if what I would say to someone in my place, but I feel very alone in my concerns with work, I have no one I can trust to talk to about my struggle there, and to top it off with the move and the responsibilities of a mom and wife and college bible study leader I can't help but feel overwhelmed.
I'm not going to lie, I am jelous of those that have their dream jobs... I wish that I loved doing lesson plans, going to meetings, and staying up at the school all hours of the day and night... and as an art teacher lessons are so intricate that it's not just pen and paper, it's so much more that goes into planning sometime it takes me all week to plan just one, I wish I loved it but I don't...
I can't think of one thing to rejoice about in this situation, except that I know it won't last forever and God is still God and He's always with me.