I went to the Women of Faith conference with Ans this past weekend and God taught me more than I could even express. Just so much that I will always cherish and I hope that others will see changed in me. I wanted to blog about it but it was so hard to really put into words all God spoke to me about but I have to say that in the season of life I am in...I have a certain passion to know God more and I can't get enough of learning about new characteristics of this person who is so important in who I am and yet so beyond me and so bigger than me that I can't grasp or fathom the idea that He would even consider me... that the Creator of the Universe calls me His child. How many times we have heard that truth yet over looked it because maybe it doesn't mean much to be called a child of anyone let alone God. Some of us can't understand that, it seams to objective or obtuse... but I realised for my heart I just never fully understood WHAT that really looked like until I became a parent myself, and even still... because I am so flawed, it's beyond what I could even know.
Stephen Curtis Chapman spoke of his daughter that he lost in a tragic accident and how he has been longing for the day when he will see her again and hold her again. How he will celebrate he day that they are united again in Heaven...it made me think of my own little girl and how I care so much about her, I think of her and I smile and I laugh at her little quirks even the ones that I know are her fallen nature, her little bouts of anger when she doesn't get her way or how she pops open the cereal bag in the grocery aisle (ok ok JUST like me) and thinks nothing of munching as she walks, how he can love Lilly one minute and poke her with the umbrella the next, how she laughs and what she looks like when she is sleeping.
It hit me for the first time in all my almost 28 yrs. that being a child of God means, in a lot of ways, He looks at me the same way I look at her. He cherishes my quirks and my flaws and my silly habits and my fits of rage when I don't get my way. He longs to tuck me in at night and brush my hair from my eyes and pray protection over me. He hurts when I hurt and He wants a good life for me. He celebrates with me over my little victories and discoveries. He loves the sound of my voice and could pick me out of a crowd. And just like that father who has to be away from His child for a little while, no matter how painful it may be, His heart is breaking for the day He will be with her again...He is longing for and waiting for the day when He can hold her again and wipe her tears and dance with her. He looks on us and thinks that we are lovely, us daughters of the King, and He will not tire or grow weary in His pursuit of our hearts.
This truth changes who I am and who I will be.